What’s so cool about giant reptiles that roamed the Earth some 65 million years ago? Well, for starters, they were giant – an instant bonus! Second, some of them had ridiculously short arms (Forelegs? Hands? Front-limbs?), others were spiny, and some of them could even fly or spend their days pretending to be even bigger manatees than the manatees of our days. It’s also pretty cool that dinosaurs went extinct because, in my opinion, bears and giant anacondas are more than enough to be afraid of. Hopefully, those giant reptiles won’t resurface ever again, or some mad scientist won’t recreate them out of DNA samples, because we all know how that would end. Do I need to remind you about Jurassic Park?
The thing that’s left out of dinosaurs – besides fossils, some petrified bones, and chickens – is their ability to inspire jokes and funny puns. A thing that I’m perfectly content with, as it is so much easier to tease these intimidating prehistoric lizards than it would be watching them tease us. And ridicule we will! We’ve created a whole list of dinosaur puns just to harangue about how reptiles are the best pun fodder and the greatest inspiration for prehistoric jokes. Besides some lame puns about T-Rex’s aforementioned limbs, you’ll also find some surprisingly creative puns about dinosaurs’ diets and sports preferences; all the things that you wouldn’t expect a monstrous lizard to do.
It’s probably time to end this low-key rant about how scared your writer is of dinosaurs and skip right to the funny puns! You know what to do – scroll down below to check the clever puns that we’ve found on the subject of hairless ogres that once ruled the Earth, vote for the funniest jokes, and tell your friends about this list!
What is a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer? Comet!
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
What do you call a dinosaur after a breakup? Tyrannosaurus ex!
Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent!
Why did T-Rex’s girlfriend break up with him? Because he said he only loved her “this much” (with his tiny arms spread wide).
Can you do it? You bet Jurassican.
What do you call a dinosaur who’s a noisy sleeper? A Tyranno-snorus!
What do you call the ghost of a dinosaur? A scaredactyl.
Our local museum has opened a brand new dinosaur exhibit. I don’t know if it will be popular or not. That remains to be seen.
What do you call it when a dinosaur has a car accident? A tyrannosaurus wreck!
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way as fast as you can.
What sport is a brontosaurus good at? Squash.
What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with a pig? Jurassic Pork!
What do you call a dinosaur who won’t stop rambling? A dino-bore!
What do you call an anxious dino? A nervous Rex.
What did they call sunrise in prehistoric times? Meglodawn.
Why was the teenage dinosaur so moody? ROARmones.
Dinosaurs can’t go on boats, they cause too many Ship Rex.
What’s a dinosaur’s favorite drink? Rex on the beach!
What dinosaur would Harry Potter be? The dinosorcerer.
Receptionist: Doctor, there’s an invisible dinosaur in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell her I can’t see her!
And what do you call a baby dinosaur? A Wee-Rex!
What do you call the dog of a dinosaur with one eye? Do-you-think-he-saurus rex.
Why are dinosaurs never overweight? They’re surrounded by scales.
Where did the dinosaur clown get a job? At the carnivore.
I’m not saur-ee I came up with this half-baked pun. I feel ptero-bill.
What’s the best way to raise a baby dinosaur? With a crane.
Who does a dinosaur call when he’s being robbed? The tricera-cops.
How do dinosaurs feel when they step in poison oak? Ichthyosaur.
What’s the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? Lefty.
What kind of dinosaur is made of cheese? Gorgonzilla.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkysaurus.
Scientists have discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart. They described it as a blast from the past.
What type of tool did prehistoric carpenters use? Dino-saws!
How do you know that a seismosaurus is under your bed? Because your nose is only two inches from the ceiling!
What’s a child’s favorite dinosaur? A Toys-‘R-Us.
How do you know if there is a dinosaur in your fridge? The door won’t shut!
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant-eater.
What do you call a polite Dinosaur? A Pleaseyosaur.
How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs? Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.
What is purple and green and won’t stop singing? Barney taking a shower.
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
Where do dinosaurs go shopping? The dino-store!
Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm? Because it was an early bird!
What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with explosives? Dino-mite.
How did the triceratops speed up his computer? He gave it a good RAM.
What’s a sailor’s favorite dinosaur? The mast-odon.
What is the best way to talk to a velociraptor? Long-distance!
What do you call a paleontologist who sleeps all the time? Lazy bones!
What was T. rex’s favorite number? Eight! (ate)
What dinosaur can’t you hear go to the bathroom? All of them, they’re all dead.
What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions? A philosiraptor.
How do you know if there’s a stegosaurus in your refrigerator? The door won’t close.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets a touchdown? A dino-score!
What did the dinosaur put on her steak? Dinosauce.
What came after the dinosaur? Its tail.
What do you call a dinosaur from Canada? Torontosaurus Rex.
How do sales people approach dinosaurs in clothes shops? Try, sir, a top?
What do you call a dinosaur who keeps you awake at night? A bronto-snore-us (or a dino-snore).
What does a T-rex’s play on at the playground? The dino-see-saw.
The dino-store was the favourite one-stop shop for all the prehistoric reptiles.
What’s the best thing to do if you see a Tyrannosaurus Rex? Pray that it does not see you.
Duno puns are pteroble.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain? A Stegosau-rust!
What did the dinosaur call her blouse business? Try Sara’s Tops!
What do you call a spooky dinosaur? A terror-adactyl!
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the P is silent!
Do you think anything could tricera-top these dinosaur puns? I dino what to tell you, but probably not.
What do you call a T.Rex who can’t accept defeat? A saur loser.
What do you call a group of singing dinosaurs? A tyranno-chorus.
What is the scariest type of dinosaur? A Terror-dactyl.
What do you call a short spiky dinosaur who fell down the stairs? Ankle-is-sore-us.
What did the dinosaur say to the cashier? Keep the climate change.
Here is your dinosaur toy! Would you like it gift raptor not?
My pupil asked which writer wrote the best dinosaur stories. I said he should try Sarah Topps.
How can you tell if there’s an allosaurus lying in your bed? You’ll see the bright red “A” on its pyjamas.
Why was the stegosaurus such a good volleyball player? He could really spike the ball!
What does a triceratops sit on? Its tricera-bottom.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
Who is a dinosaur’s best friend? Iguano-dog.
Do you know how long dinosaurs lived? The same as short ones.
What is found in the middle of dinosaurs? The letter S.
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, one Gorgosaurus and nine velociraptors!
Why does the brontosaurus have a long neck? Its feet smell.
Which dinosaur always shoots first and asks questions later? Ammo-saurus.
The dinosaur charged with sewing the garments for all the prehistoric animals was known as a dino-sewer.
When looking after dinosaurs, ensure the stegosaur-rust doesn’t stay out in the rain.
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur!
What do you call a dinosaur fart? An exstinktion!
What’s a dinosaur’s favorite quote? “Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures!”
What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots? Tyrannosaurus Tex!
What does a dinosaur with sleep apnea do? He dino-snores.
You laugh now, but the skeletal remains of dinosaurs don’t find it humerus.
Do you think he saurus (saw us)?
I’ve got a bone to pick with you.
He’s all skin and bones.
Why do museums exhibit old dinosaur bones? Because they can’t afford new ones!
What did dinosaurs use to drive their cars? Fossil fuels.
What’s the best thing to do if you see a tyrannosaurus rex? Pray that it doesn’t see you.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles.
What would happen if a 100-ton Brachiosaurus stepped on you?You’d be deeply impressed.
Which dinosaur had to wear glasses? Tyrannosaurus specs.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A diplodocus with a sore throat.
Which dinosaur always wants a bargain when he shops? Mega-low-saurus (megalosaurus).
What is the most magical dinosaur? Diplo-pocus.
Which is the clumsiest dinosaur? Break-iosaur.
Which dinosaur is the most neurotic? Parasaurolo-fuss.
What dinosaur hangs out in lunch boxes? A peanut butter and jeholopterus.
Which dinosaur is best at yard work? Mows-asaurus.
What dinosaur could jump higher than a house? All of them. Houses can’t jump.
What should you do if you find a blue Dilophosaurus? Try to cheer him up!
What did Rex say to Woody after eating a toy? You got a friend in me.
Which dinosaur never has any money? No-dough-saurus.
The one-eyed dinosaur passed us somewhere along the forest lane, but I am not sure he-saurus.
What do you call a carpenter with no arms? A cannotasarus.
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-try-try-ceratops!
What do you call twin dinosaurs? Pair-odactyls!
Sticks out like a saur thumb.
Why did the Tyrannosaurus Rex cross the road? Because the chickens hadn’t evolved yet.
The no-dough-saurus was the only broke dinosaur at the party.
Why don’t dinosaurs ever forget? Because they never knew anything in the first place.
How many dinosaurs can you fit in an empty box? After that, the box isn’t empty.