Hello fellow youth, this is your writer trying to address you in a manner that’s au currant, including shortened language (a.k.a. slang) words such as Gucci, lit, and yeet. Now, with that part out of the way, let’s talk about why we are gathered here – jokes for teens. While I, myself, have long grown out of the salad days of my youth, I do remember now that turmoil of teenagedom with equal parts of amusement and misery. And if at the time, the title ‘teenager’ was nothing to laugh about, it’s best to turn misgivings of your hormone-occupied brains into comedic relief. Trust the words of an old crone, although undoubtedly, you are scoffing at it right now because nobody understands you anyway. In my experience, any words of compassion seemed to make matters even worse than they already were, so let’s just skip the chase and go straight to these teenager-oriented jokes.
The topics of these clever jokes are simple but not simplified – it’s about maneuvering your ever-changing moods through the pressures of daily life, and it’s about the zits on your forehead. It’s also about yeeting the bad thoughts out of your head (did I use the term correctly, fellow youth?) and living your life as if it is lit and GOAT. Basically, all the pressing matters of your regular (sorry, exceptional, because nobody is as extra as you) teenager’s existence all presented in a lighthearted manner. To laugh is to live, and to live is to successfully conquer your adolescence.
Without any further attempts to flex my abilities on addressing the mint generation of teenyboppers, let’s just all scroll down below and check out these hilarious jokes for teens. Once you’ve finished relating to them, upvote the best jokes so that your comrades won’t have to scroll aaaaaaalllll the way down. We would also be lowkey turnt if you were to share this article with your friends in the same age group as you.
How do you know when you’re desperate for an answer?
You look at the second page of Google search results.
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands?
Because they’re extinct.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
Are you free tomorrow?
No, I’m expensive. Sorry.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go!
I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.
Then it hit me.
Why was the Maths book sad?
It had too many problems.
What do you call a Minecraft meetup IRL?
A block party.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
Why are spiders such know-it-alls?
They’re always on the web.
I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married?
Feyoncè.
What animal is the worst at hiding?
The leopard — he’s always spotted.
Why did God supposedly make men before He made women?
Because everyone needs a rough draft.
What should you do when no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?
Keep going until you get a reaction.
Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet?
If they don’t, they’ll be lost at C.
A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
My boss told me yesterday, “You shouldn’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.”
But when I turned up today in Ghostbusters clothes, he said I was fired.
What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common?
The Court.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?
Because they keep breaking out!
Did you hear about the guy writing a construction book?
He’s still working on it.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s okay. He woke up.
What do computers eat for a snack?
Microchips!
I thought my neighbours were lovely people. Then they went and put a password on their wi-fi.
I thought I’d tell you a brilliant time-travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
I think my algebra teacher is a pirate. All she ever wants to do is find X.
A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.” A boy responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
How does the moon cut its hair?
E-clipse it.
What did the man say when he walked into a bar?
Ouch!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.
Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens?
He lost his Hedwig.
What kind of music do balloons hate?
Pop.
What side of a turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.
What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow.
Can February March?
No, but April May.
What do you call high school kids who haven’t been able to go to school because of COVID-19?
Quaranteens.
What did one plate say to the other?
Dinner is on me!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What is the witch’s favorite school subject?
Spelling!
What did the grape say when he was pinched?
Nothing, he gave a little wine.
Why did the selfie go to prison?
It was framed.
How did the bullet lose its job?
It got fired.
Why shouldn’t you worry about passing math?
Because it’s easy as pi.
What are the most popular perfumes for ages 12 to 18?
Adolescents.
Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
Because he felt crummy!
What do you call the horse that lives next door?
Your neighbor!
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
How do you drown a hipster?
In the mainstream.
What did one DNA strand say to the other?
Does my bum look good in these genes?
What is a cow without a map?
Udderly lost.
What did the punching bag say to the boxer?
Hit me baby one more time.
What is 97 + 41 + 42 + 164 + 91 + 7?
A headache.
What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
The walking debt.
What did one light bulb say to the other?
Watt’s up?
Why was the math book bummed?
It had a lot of problems.
What do you call an old snowman?
A puddle.
What’s the difference between the ACT and SAT?
One letter.
Why did the period tell the comma to stop?
It was the end of the sentence.
Some kids told me they’d give me $20 to hang out with them. Turns out it was just clique bait.
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
An envelope.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
What is red, orange, and full of disappointment?
High school pizza.
Have you heard where the word “studying” came from?
Students-dying.
Why does ice cream get invited to every party?
Because it’s cool and sweet.
Why do all judges get As in English class?
Because they know all about sentences.
What is a ninja’s favorite kind of shoes?
Sneakers.
Were any famous men and women born on your birthday?
No, only babies.
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
What book won’t teachers give you credit for reading?
Facebook.
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space.
What has two legs but can’t walk?
A pair of jeans.
Why’d the elementary students look up to the high schoolers?
Because they’re smaller, they don’t have a choice.
How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let go of it!
What kind of room doesn’t have doors?
A mushroom!
What are two things you can’t have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way around?
R2-Detour.
Which hand is better to write with?
Neither. It’s better to write with a pencil!
Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
Why are eggs bad at telling jokes?
They always crack each other up.
Where do cats go to swim?
The kitty pool.
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little hoarse.
What happened with Dracula when meeting a snowman?
They got frostbite.
I tried writing with a broken pencil, but it was pointless.
What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?
“Where’s popcorn?”
What fruit tease people a lot?
Ba-na, na, na, na…na!
Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
Where do fruits go on vacation?
Pearis.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can’t even.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent pee.
What do you call an old snowman?
A creek.
What did the middle schooler say to the high schooler?
Nothing, they texted.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
Why do rappers need umbrellas?
Fo’ drizzle.
What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don’t use it at all?
Students.
Where do cows go on Friday nights?
The moo-vies!
What do pre-teen ducks hate?
Voice quacks.
What do you get when you mix sulfer, tungsten, and silver?
SWAG.
What can you catch but not throw?
Your breath.
Why is the obtuse angle sad?
Because it’s never right.
I’m a photographer of myself. You could say I’m selfie-employed.
How do wicked chickens reproduce?
They lay deviled eggs.
I wanted to buy a camouflage outfit, but I couldn’t find any.
What do you call a rash on a pig?
Hogwarts.
What do you call a pooch in heat?
Hot dog.
How do you survive a deadly clown attack?
Go straight for the Juggalo.
I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.
Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank!
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!
Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?
So he could hide in the crayon box!
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A watch dog!
What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
Why don’t history teachers want to teach about the Middle Ages?
It takes too many knights.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
How do mountains stay warm in winter?
Snowcaps.
What stays in a corner but can travel the world?
A postage stamp.
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon aid.
The wedding was so beautiful. Even the cake was in tiers.
What do yo call a vegan post-punk band?
Soy Division.
Why did the boy run around his bed?
Because he was trying to catch up on sleep.
Did you get your hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Can you put the cat out?
Why, is it on fire?
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
What does a school and plant have in common?
STEM.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
What do you call The Weeknd from Friday to Monday?
The Long Weeknd.
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef, but no one can pee soup.
What do you call a grizzly with bad teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did the grape say when he was pinched?
Nothing, he gave a little wine.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
What animal needs to wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
Boys: We rule because God made us first! God made you girls last!
Girls: Well, obviously God made a rough draft before a final copy.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
Don’t look! I’m changing!
What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?
They’re both red except for the green one.
Why did the period tell the comma to stop?
It was the end of the sentence.
What do you call a slender cow?
Lean beef.
What kind of hair does the ocean have?
Wavy.
What did the French teacher say to the class?
I don’t know. I couldn’t understand her.