Remember the last time you tried to impress a possible love interest? Indeed, in your mind, you were gallant, witty, charming, and favorably impressionable. In their eyes, though, you probably seemed more like a dorky fifth-grader trying their hardest to awe their mom into dispensing candy. Best case scenario – you got them heartily laughing at your efforts and won them over by your naivete. Not so great scenario – you left them dumbfounded with your strained humor and got a great view of their back. It is always best to come prepared to such a battle though, and if not by having a couple of clever pick-up lines locked and loaded, then at least by memorizing those that are not to be used. Like ever.
If schadenfreude isn’t what you often feel, then get ready to remember the pain by reading these cringe pick-up lines. Some of these mating calls are so bad that you might strain your brows that’ll involuntarily form cubism-inspired lines in your forehead. And as much as I’d like to spoil some of them right now by adding a quote or two in this text, you’ll just have to scroll and read them for yourself. Well, just a glimpse maybe – from food pairings to comparisons with technologies, these babies will buffalo you.
So, now is the time to warm up your brows, crack your knuckles, and haughtily adjust your spectacles – cringe pick-up lines are waiting. Do not forget to vote for the most embarrassing ones or the pick-up lines that would annoy your spouse the most! Also, share these with your friends; who knows, you might do a fun bet or a social experiment with them. I know I would!
Knock-knock. (Who’s there?) When where? (When where who?) Tomorrow night, my house, you.
Kiss me if I’m wrong. But dinosaurs still exist, right?
Want a raisin? No? Well, how about a date?
Your eyes are like IKEA. I’m totally lost in them.
You and I are like nachos with jalapeños. I’m super cheesy, you’re super hot, and we belong together.
Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place?
Anyone who says Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, has clearly never stood next to you.
“Heard you like bad girls, well I’m bad at everything.” Blinks instead of winking.
Are you http? Because without you I’m just ://
You must be a magician. Because any time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
I want our love to be like the number Pi: irrational and never-ending.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?
There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.
I’ve got 1-ply, I’ve got 2-ply, but all I really want is your re-ply.
I’m gonna sue Spotify for not including you in the hottest singles of the week list.
Can I tie your shoelaces? Cause I don’t want you falling for someone else.
I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, give me yours and watch what I can do with it.
Roses are red, violets are blue DaVinci painted Mona, cause he couldn’t find you.
Are you wi-fi? Cause I’m totally feeling a connection.
You look so familiar. Didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.
You must be a campfire. Because you’re super hot and I want s’more.
My buddies bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful person here. How should we spend their money?
My mom told me that life was a deck of cards, so I guess you must be the queen of hearts.
Your hand seems pretty heavy… Let me hold it for you (day 44).
Are you a shower? Because I want to sit next to you and start crying uncontrollably.
Are you a parking ticket? Cause you’ve got fine written all over you!
You must be exhausted, because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
Do I know you? Because you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
Know what’s on the menu? Me-N-U.
If you were a Transformer you’d be Optimus Fine!
You’re so sweet, you could put Hershey’s out of business!
If I had to rate you from 1 to 10, I’d give you a 9, because I’m the 1 you’re missing.
Was your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Covid-19 canceling everything except my feelings for YOU.
Are you a mask? Because I never want to be seen without you in public.
Girl are you Amazon? Cause I can find everything I’d ever want in you.
I don’t have a library card… But can I check you out?
Hey can you pass me my inhaler because you took my breath away.
We’re not socks. But I think…. we’d make a great pair.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring in your own snacks.
I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
I’m in the mood for pizza. A pizza you, that is!
Are you a long structure used to restrict the flow of water across rivers and underwater streams? Because daaaaaaaaam!
How much does a polar bear weigh? I don’t know either but it breaks the ice. Wanna get a drink?
You must be a high test score. Because I want to take you home and show you to my mother.
I may not be a photographer, but I can totally picture us together.
If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a gorgesaurus.
If I got a dollar for every time I thought of you, I’d have only one because you never left my mind.
Roses are red, my face is too. That only happens when I’m around you.
Some Pokemon for anyone slightly nerdy. Charmeleons are red, Blastoise are blue, if you were a Pokemon, I would choose you.
Hey girl, are you a book about an interesting topic? Because I’d love to sit down with you and get to know you better with some coffee.
People have always told me to never grow old. But that’s all I want to do with you.
Go ahead, feel my shirt. It’s made of boyfriend material!
Did you invent the airplane? Because you seem just Wright for me!
Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic Ocean, and I don’t mind being lost at sea.
If you were a burger at McDonald’s, you’d be the McGorgeous.
Is there an airport nearby, or was that just my heart taking off?
Have you been covered in bees recently? I just assumed, because you look sweeter than honey.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only Ten I See.
Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?
Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve only met you in my dreams.
You owe me a drink. Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine!
I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.
Damn, this COVID-19 stuff sure does suck… but you can’t spell quarantine without u, r, a, q, t.
When I 1st laid eyes on you, I immediately signed up to be an organ donor. Do you know why? Because I want to give my heart to you.
Why would I need to know about the solar system? My whole world revolves around you.
My love for you is like a Windows update. It goes on forever and ever.
Are you a broken compass? Because I lost my way looking at you.
Let me tie your shoes. I don’t want you falling for anyone else.
I’m good at algebra; I can replace your X and you wouldn’t need to figure out Y.
Of all your curves… your smile is my favorite.
Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you look like a snack.
In this pandemic your smile is still the most contagious thing out there.
Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.
I don’t normally chase girls but I’d put my crocs in sports mode for you.
If God made anything more beautiful than you, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.
You know why I study mathematics? Because I want to find the shortest distance into your heart.
They say if you Kiss an angel you’ll be immortal. So yeah you can kiss me as long as you want.
Hey baby, are you Danny Devito? Because It’s Always Sunny when I’m with you.
I think I need to see an optician. Because my eyes can’t focus on anything but you.
I’m not a landscape photographer but I’m sure you’d make any view better.
Do you take care of bees? Because I already know you’re a keeper.
I went to your boyfriend’s Instagram page. It said “edit profile”.
Were you in boy scouts? Because you tied my heart in a knot.
Was your father an alien, because there nothing else like you on earth.
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
Your middle name must be Gillette. Because you’re the best a man can get!
Do you like Star Wars? Cause Yoda only one for me.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
If I had four quarters to give to the four prettiest women in the world, you would have a dollar!
I’m really glad I just bought life insurance, because when I saw you, my heart stopped.
You must be jelly, cause jam don’t shake like that.
You must be made of cheese. Because you’re looking Gouda tonight!
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber!
Are you my appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.
Is your name Ariel? Cause we Mermaid for each other.
If you were words on a page you’d be the fine print.
I wasn’t always religious. But I am now, because you’re the answer to all my prayers.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I and U together.
On a scale of 1 to 10, you are 8 and I’m in 2 you.
I’m sorry but you need to pay your rent. You’ve been living in my heart for quite some time now.
Hey girl I wanted to take you to the movies but they don’t allow to bring your own snacks.
Are you a brain tumor? Cause you’re on my mind and it’s killing me.
Hey girl, I would ask for Netflix and chill… But, you look like you’re into Stranger Things.
Sorry, I would’ve texted sooner but my phone just overheated, I guess you’re just too hot for Tinder.
My lips are made of Skittles and baby you’re about to taste the rainbow.
There’s something wrong with my eyes. I can’t take them off you.
Hey girl, did you know I’m a cashier. Because I’m totally checking you out.
Is your birthday October the 10th? Cos you definitely look like a 10/10.
If you were a photon and I were an electron, you would bring me to the excited state.
I’d show you my world… But I’m pretty sure you own a mirror.
Damn, are you nuclear fission? Cause you got my reactor goin.
Can I have your picture just to prove to my friends that angels really do exist?
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
Were you in boy scouts? Because you tied my heart in a knot.
I think there is something wrong with my eyes I just can’t take them off you
Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koalafications.
I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?
I was wondering if you had an extra heart…because mine was just stolen.
Are you Siri? Because you autocomplete me!
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
Are you a loan? ‘Cause you’ve got my interest!
If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
If you were a phaser on Star Trek, you’d be set to stun!
Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
I’m glad I remembered to bring my library card. ‘Cause I am totally checking you out!
Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future!
Do you work at Dick’s? Because you’re sporting the goods!
Are your parents bakers? Because you’re a cutie pie!
Aside from being drop-dead gorgeous, what do you do for a living?
Where have I seen you before? Oh yeah, I remember now. It was in the dictionary next to the word “gorgeous”!
I like my women how I like my laptops. On my lap. Turned on. Virus free.
They forgot to put your name on the periodic table. Cos you’re one of the elements that make up my life.
Are you a time traveler? Because I can see you in my future.
You make me feel like a leaf. Because I’m always falling for you.
Thank god I’m wearing gloves, cause you’re too hot to handle.
Sorry I didn’t get you any chocolates for valentines day, but if you want something sweet, I’m right here.
Are you YouTube? Because I want You to Be mine.
Do you know what I wanna be this Halloween? Yours.
Hi my name is John if anyone is looking to make a mistake tonight.” I wasn’t, but damn I thought that was funny.
Redstone is red, Lapis is blue, I’d rather quit to main menu than respawn without you.
Are you a magician? because whenever I look at you everyone else disappears.
They say your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body, wanna fight?
Let me guess, your middle name is Gillette, right? Because you’re the best a man can get!
Are you a 45-degree angle? Because you’re a-cutie!
If you and I were socks, we’d make a great pair!
Are you my meds? When I don’t have you it drives me crazy.
Hey girl, is your name John, because I have never Cena girl like you.
Do you have a bandage? I scrapped my knees falling for you.