Knock knock! Who’s there? Why, of course, it’s the Bored Panda’s knock-knock jokes article! Isn’t that an unexpected yet very welcome plot twist to this old-school joke? We thought so, too. And this is exactly the joke where every twist and every unexpected portion of its punchline is happily accepted and is known to be funny to both your run-of-the-mill kindergartener and the middle-aged business tycoon. Since it’s so universally funny, we definitely had to make an article dedicated to this style of humoresque, thus presenting to you our comprehensive knock-knock jokes library, which we’ve lovingly nurtured and are serving to be cherished.
And truly, we’ve gathered only the best knock-knock jokes there are, and it’s only a hundred and sixty that made it to the final cut. A hundred and sixty hilarious jokes that you can choose to read in an instant or spread throughout the year by reading one every two-and-an-eighth days. Or wolf down half now, and save the rest for tomorrow. Or read just the first ten. Really, the technique of how to conquer this list is entirely up to you, but whichever tactic you choose, we hope that these jokes will give you the appropriate amount of laughs and giggles. Also, it would be nice if these clever jokes won’t knock-knock you down too hard, as that would make this article very much NSFW. And we don’t want that, do we?
Anyhoo, stretch the muscles needed for laughing (including, but not limited to, your Levator Labii Superioris, Depressor Anguli Oris, and of course, Buccinator) and bravely scroll down below to meet the so familiar yet so funny jokes. In retrospect, we should’ve probably opened this article by mentioning the muscle stretches, as the approximate minute-and-a-half that takes to read it would’ve been sufficient enough time for warming up the cords beneath your skin. Well, without crying too much over spilled milk, let’s read the jokes. Don’t forget to vote for the ones that entertained you the most!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Déja.
Déja who?
Knock! Knock!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Art.
Art who?
R2-D2, of course.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore who?
Adore is between us, so open it!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Control Freak.
Okay, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
H.
H who?
Bless you!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
I’m good. Hawaii you?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don’t knock on random doors, but I had to meet you!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good place we can go hang out?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Alien.
Alien who?
Um, how many aliens do you know?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Says.
Says who?
Says me, that’s who!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Turnip.
Turnip who?
Turnip the volume, I love this song!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Mary and Abbey.
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Sherlock.
Sherlock who?
Sherlock your door shut tight.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
To.
To who?
No, to whom.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Abe.
Abe who?
Abe CDEFJH…
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Honeybee.
Honeybee who?
Honeybee a dear and open the door, please.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Stopwatch.
Stopwatch who?
Stopwatch you’re doing and pay attention!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Hal.
Hal who?
Hal will you know if you don’t open the door?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Aida.
Aida who?
Aida sandwich for lunch today.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Says.
Says who?
Says me, that’s who!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys, who?
Gladys the weekend—no homework!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Radio.
Radio who?
Radio not, here I come!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Cargo!
Cargo who?
Car go beep, beep!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Kanga.
Kanga who?
Actually, it’s kangaroo.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are asking me so many questions?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Godiva.
Godiva who?
Godiva terrible headache, do you have an aspirin?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Santa.
Santa who?
Santa email reminding you I’d be here, and you STILL make me wait in the cold!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use. I forgot my name again!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in already!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Heidi.
Heidi who?
Heidi ‘cided to come over to play!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Forget it—this joke is pointless.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Somebody who can’t reach the doorbell!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Amos.
Amos who?
A mosquito bit me!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you doing telling jokes right now? Don’t you have things to do?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Iran.
Iran who?
Iran here. I’m tired!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Cher.
Cher who?
Cher would be nice if you opened the door!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is stuck. Open up!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Icy you looking at me!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Mustache.
Mustache who?
I mustache you a question.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Watson.
Watson who?
Watson TV right now?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Althea.
Althea who?
Althea later alligator!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Otto.
Otto who?
Otto know. I forgot.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
I am.
I am who?
Wait, you don’t know who you are?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Amish.
Amish who?
You’re not a shoe!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Hike.
Hike who?
I didn’t know you liked Japanese poetry!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Nun.
Nun who?
Nun of your business!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
A broken pencil.
A broken pencil who?
Never mind, it’s pointless.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interruptin- Mooooo!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
An extraterrestrial.
An extraterrestrial who?
Wait–how many extraterrestrials do you know?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W-H-O.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Two knee.
Two knee who?
Two knee fish!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you and I don’t care who knows it!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ho-ho.
Ho-ho who?
You know, your Santa impression could use a little work.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Irish.
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Yule log.
Yule log who?
Yule log the door after you let me in, won’t you?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Carmen.
Carmen who?
Carmen let me in already!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Convex.
Convex who?
Convex go to prison!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
I’m excited to see you too!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Otto.
Otto who?
Otto know what’s taking you so long!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle little help gettin’ in the door.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole to see!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup with me and I’ll tell you!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Goat.
Goat who?
Goat to the door to see who’s knocking!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben knocking for 20 minutes!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Wendy.
Wendy who?
Wendy bell works again I won’t have to knock anymore.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken you let me in?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Doris.
Doris who?
Doris locked. Open up!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel who?
Nobel…that’s why I knocked!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Alice.
Alice who?
Alice fair in love and war.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle little help right now!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Thermos.
Thermos who?
Thermos be a better way to get to you.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Alec.
Alec who?
Alectricity. BUZZ!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Etch.
Etch who?
Bless you!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Alex-plain later!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Anee.
Anee who?
Anee one you like!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ivor.
Ivor who?
Ivor you let me in or I’ll climb through the window.
Will you remember me in a minute?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a week?
Yes.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
You didn’t remember me!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Iona.
Iona who?
Iona new toy!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby birthday to you!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Amanda.
Amanda who?
A man da fix your door!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice door open, or am I stuck out here?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are, asking all these questions?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Scold outside, let me in!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
I am.
I am who?
You tell me!!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Oink oink.
Oink oink who?
Make up your mind—are you a pig, or an owl?!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Wooden shoe.
Wooden shoe, who?
Wooden shoe like to know!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s There?
Snow!
Snow who?
Snow laughing matter.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ken
Ken who?
Ken I come in? It’s cold out here.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch one of you will give me some Halloween candy?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Eysore.
Eysore who?
Eysore do love you!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Leaf.
Leaf Who?
Leaf Me Alone!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl you know if you don’t open the door?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
That’s impossible.
Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, you’re a poo!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you want to hear some garden jokes?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water those plants or they’re going to die!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Closure.
Closure who?
Closure mouth while you’re chewing!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Beets.
Beets who?
Beets me!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Loaf.
Loaf who?
I don’t just like bread, I loaf it.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you gonna open the door?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah any place I can get a bite to eat?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Isabelle.
Isabelle who?
Isabelle working, or should I keep knocking?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anyone want to let me in?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Claire.
Claire who?
Claire the way; I’m coming in!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl you know it’s really me unless you open the door?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Will.
Will who?
Will you just open the door already?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie body going to open the door already?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
From.
From who?
Actually, grammatically speaking you should say “from whom.”
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do too!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Razor.
Razor who?
Razor hands, this is a stick up!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice snack be eaten?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Yukon.
Yukon who?
Yukon say that again!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
CD.
CD who?
CD person on your doorstep?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Abbot.
Abbot who?
Abbot you don’t know who this is!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Kirtch.
Kirtch who?
God bless you!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for dinner.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
Cows don’t go who, they go moo!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Wire.
Wire who?
Wire you always asking ‘who’s there’?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yes, they do.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
No one.
No one who?
*Remains silent*
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, but I’d love some peanuts!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Pecan.
Pecan who?
Pecan somebody your own size!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Impatient cow.
Impatient co… MOO!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda hang out with me right now?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Police.
Police who?
Police hurry—I’m freezing out here!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin the neighborhood and thought I’d come over.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and let me in!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes a nice place you got here.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
I didn’t realize you were some kind of nut!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe open the door?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Avenue.
Avenue who?
Avenue knocked on this door before?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
ICE CREAM RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON’T LET ME IN!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Weevil.
Weevil who?
Weevil weevil rock you.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Euripides.
Euripides who?
Euripides clothes, you pay for them!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock! Knock!
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Let me in! Anita borrow something.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
A herd.
A herd who?
A herd you were home, so here I am!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Viper.
Viper who?
Viper nose, it’s running!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Roach.
Roach who?
Roach you a text. Did you get it?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Sadie.
Sadie who?
Sadie magic word and I’ll come in!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Al.
Al who?
Al give you a hug if you open this door!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Andrew.
Andrew who?
Andrew a picture!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Armageddon.
Armageddon who?
Armageddon a little bored. Let’s go out.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Mikey.
Mikey who?
Mikey isn’t working, can you let me in?
Knock! knock!
Who’s there?
Amarillo.
Amarillo who?
Amarillo nice guy!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Hanna.
Hanna who?
Hanna partridge in a pear tree!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Hey, Alex the questions around here!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Witches.
Witches who?
Witches the way home?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Sam and Janet.
Sam and Janet who?
Samenjanet Evening.
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
Hey, you can yodel!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Some.
Some who?
Maybe some day you’ll recognize me!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the sink. I need to use it!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva who?
I’ve a sore hand from knocking!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s There?
Imma.
Imma who?
Imma getting older waiting for you to open up!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Alfie.
Alfie who?
Alfie terrible if you don’t let me in!
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Arfur.
Arfur who?
Arfur got!