Q: Why do ghosts go on diets? A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures Q: What does a panda ghost eat? A: Bam-BOO! Q: Why don’t mummies take time off? A: They’re afraid to unwind. Q: Why did the zombie skip school? A: He felt rotten. Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A: … Read more
Q: Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy? A: At the ghost-ery store! Q: What do owls say when they go trick or treating? A: Happy Owl-ween! Q: What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? A: Booberries! Q: Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with? A: His ghoul friend. Q: What Halloween … Read more
Q: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A: At the casketeria. Q: What part of the street do vampires live on? A: The dead end. Q: What do you get when you divide your jack-o’-lantern’s circumference by its diameter? A: Pumpkin-pi! Q: What can you say about a horrible mummy joke? A: It … Read more
A friend of mine has a big Labrador retriever. While I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart for him, a woman behind me in the check out line asked if it was for a dog (duh?).On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t … Read more
Q: What happens when cranberries get sad? A: They turn into blueberries. Q: Why was the soup at Thanksgiving so pricey? A: It had 24 carrots. Q: What kind of ‘tude is appropriate at the family dinner? A: Gratitude. Q: Why was the turkey put in jail? A: The police suspected fowl play. Q: What’s … Read more
Q: What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving? A: The G. Q: Why did the turkey refuse dessert? A: He was already stuffed. Q: The day after the holiday, what did the fridge say when it was asked, “Is everything al-right over here?”? A: “No, everything is all left-over here!” Q: Why was the … Read more
Q: What happens when you’re too harsh on cranberries and make them sad?A: They turn into blueberries. Q: What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving?A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years. Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?A: It was … Read more
What do you call an old snowman?A: Water Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?A: A Christmas Quacker! Q: What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?A: Lost Q: Why is the government like ancient Bethlehem?A: It takes a miracle to find three wise men there. Q: Why … Read more
The TV channel Gold’s eighth annual ranking, which is chosen by a panel chaired by the comedy critic Bruce Dessau, was put to 2,000 UK voters. Check out top 20 jokes. 1. Q: What is Dominic Cummings’ favourite Christmas song? A: Driving Home for Christmas 2. Q: Did you hear that production was down at … Read more